Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
