does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
