Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i think my cat just said my name.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
