weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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