Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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