remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
