If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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