Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
