I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
