My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
