it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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