Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How does it feel to date your dad?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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