you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
