Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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