I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
