i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
