i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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