dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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