SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
