i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
His nipple licking is glorious
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