Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
