her vagine was all disorganized.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize