just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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