fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
