What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
