It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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