I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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