So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize