seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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