There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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