He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize