Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
