i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize