You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
