wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
