Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
