There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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