I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
