he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
