So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
