My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she was so not down for the gang bang
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
