Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
