every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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