I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
