did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
