Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
