her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
