i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
