i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
