He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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