That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
