Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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