We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
