Girls should come with a carfax report
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
