Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i came on her dog
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
