I wannas sexs uuuuu
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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