I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
True strength comes from lack of pants
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
