You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
