he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
