I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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