Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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