meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
