It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Randomize
