Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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