felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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